I thought working at the Police Department would be exciting so applied for an open position in the Evidence and Property Unit.  I’m not sure what I thought this entry-level administrative position did, but I was sure it would be loads of fun.

I arrived both nervous and excited at the interview and thought it had gone well.  I was called back for a panel interview.  I didn’t know why and what that really meant so showed up ready to answer the same questions.

I sat on one side of a conference room table and four uniformed officers sat on the other side.  They stood and shook my hand, introduced themselves by name, not position, and we all sat down.  For at least thirty seconds there was silence as they all stared at me without breaking a smile.  I thought, “Oh crap, this one is different.”

Out of the handful of questions I only remember one.  The last one.  The one I knew that knocked me out of the race.

“Are you okay with handling pictures of dead people from crime scenes?”

I paused to digest the question before answering.  My unconscious body language was a back and forth head shake, indicating “No” while I simultaneously and verbally answered, “Yes”.

Silence.  They stared.  Still no smiling.  It happened in a split second.  Yet, I knew as officers of the law that they had observed the misalignment between my verbal answer and body language, the indication I was lying.

Of course I was not okay handling pictures of dead people.  I had been exposed to some pretty gruesome stuff but dead people photography had thankfully eluded me.

What am I grateful for?

~ Not getting the job.  Closed doors are always a blessing even when we cannot see it.

~ Public Servants. They make a sacrifice of their peace by constantly exposing their energy to all walks of life to help keep peace, safety and order among us.   

~ Recognizing the importance of understanding body language in order to discern deception, among other things.

~ Identifying that my intuition was in a deep sleep, underutilized and prevented me from speaking from an authentic place. It would not be the last time.

~ Considering that the development of body language may have been derived from a biblical principle of love.  Loving in deed and truth, 1 John 3:18.

incongruence