on heavy hitting losses

The social realities are clearer.  Apparently, I’ve also divorced old neighbors, friends, couples, and their children, my children’s friends.

I miss all of the children who ran into our home unannounced and treated our place like it was theirs.

I miss sharing music, food and laughter. Entertaining.

I miss long walks on clear nights admiring constellations and watching planes fly overhead.  I envision one day flying in the brightness of those stars.

I miss the nightly howling of coyotes.

I miss big empty fields and open spaces where there is nothing to do but admire nature and breathe.

I miss running outside to jump in puddles while it rains.

I miss picking flowers from my garden and eating their sour stems.

I miss the smell and sound of hope. Babies.

I miss the smell and freshness of early morning.  The stillness of life at the breaking of dawn.

I miss the emptiness of mind that comes when thoughts cease to be.

I miss the ones behind me, meant only to share one leg of the journey.

I miss macaroni art, glitter and glue.

I miss the lightness of my hands and heart.

They are heavy.

Weary of waving goodbye.

What am I grateful for?

  • What is left.  We are never asked to survive on what we’ve lost.  Rather, we are equipped to thrive on what we have left.  We may need to wear a cloak of sadness for a while, in reverence to the time we need to heal from our losses.  When we are ready to take it off, we will be wearing garments of confidence.

 

~ Our steps are ordered.  Remember to forge ahead, in both darkness and light.  ~ 

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